peace (2018)

When people ask us with audacity

What we are eating

What we are wearing

Why we speak the way we do

What we are doing here

I will never have an answer that will not be laden with the weight of my ancestors

I could tell them that,

I am my parents eldest and only daughter in a swarm of sons

I could tell them that

I am my parents’ hopes and dreams

I carry their sacrifices on my shoulders

Sometimes, their sacrifices carry me in my darkest times.

I could tell them that

I believe Hmoob women know best

The burden of carrying their entire family

Carrying their emotions,

Their hopes

Even when we know it does not amount to the love that they give to the sons they wish we were.

I could tell them that I am a Hmoob daughter,

I am queer and here

I am everything my parents raised me to be and more.

I could tell them that

When my others read my words,

They are spoken from my ancestors

Carried down through forests and rivers

Through wars

survived genocide and persecution

And have been slipped secretly through needle and thread

I could tell them my words

When spoken

Carry the weight of the dead that have been buried in lands

That are not their own

That my words hold the tongues of spirits

Who were never given guidance home

I could tell them that people like us are revolutionary wherever they exist

I could tell them they should be scared if they do not believe in a revolution

In a future

If they are not prepared to accept

To listen and hear

Passionate

Queer, poor, multilingual, first generation, disabled, refugee and immigrant black and/or indigenous people of color

Who are survivors of violence and genocide

I could tell them that our successes

Echo throughout our ancestors

The people who came before us

And the spirits of those who will come after us

I could tell them that our existence is an act of resistance.

I could tell them that our successes are not only for us

But they are for our ancestors

To be more than what they were forced to be

For us to be a result of their tenacity.

I could tell them I am everything and more

And I could tell you many things about who I am.

But the only thing you need to know is

I am the embodiment of my ancestors

I am the hero my descendants will pinpoint in the history of our people

When people ask me questions about who I am

They may never be prepared to hear the answer I have to give

But you should prepare yourself

With however much time we have left

On this earth

To be on the right side of our revolution

Because you will have to answer to the next generation

In the same way I have to answer to them.

You will have to give an answer that they will carry

You will have to give an answer that will be carried through

Each year that comes, each year that passes

You will have to give an answer that they will live with

But most importantly

You will have to give an answer

That gives you peace.